I have discovered that to try to force myself to do anything is a subtle violence.  If the doing does not come from a desire in THIS moment, if I act from the thought “this will be good for me” but do not feel “yes” in my body, then the action is joyless, I quickly lose interest.

I seem to have to rediscover this over and over, perhaps because the opposite was repeated so many thousands of times. A residue of shoulds, frowning.

How many times in my six decades have I frowned at myself?  Enough!

Returning to yes

even if it may mean a larger, softer body.

Returning to yes

to that openness to life

that is prior to should-er-ing

imaginary burdens

a grounding

here

now

retiring the army of shoulds

now I only want

to be happy

and that

is up

to me.